Book Review: Tower of Thorns by Juliet Marillier

I love reading. Books are amazing. They are a form of escapism, yes, but they are also inspiration, joy, and... well. Goodness. I think in some ways I have used my appetite for reading to define parts of my personality, so it made sense for me to review some of what I read! Here we go...

goodreads

Title: Towern of Thorns
Author: Juliet Marillier
Series: Blackthorn & Grim #2
Publication Date: October 3rd 2015

Synopsis: "Award-winning author Juliet Marillier's Blackthorn & Grim series continues as a mysterious creature holds an enchanted and imperiled ancient Ireland in thrall.

Lady Geleis, a noblewoman from the northern border, has asked for the prince of Dalriada's help in expelling a howling creature from an old tower on her land - one surrounded by an impenetrable hedge of thorns. Casting a blight over the entire district, and impossible to drive out by ordinary means, the mysterious presence threatens both the safety and the sanity of all who live nearby.

As Blackthorn and Grim begin to put the pieces of the puzzle together, it becomes clear that a powerful adversary is at work. Their quest is about to become a life and death struggle - where even the closest of friends can find themselves entangled in intrigue."

My thoughts: It is not secret that Juliet Marillier is my favourite author, I just find her books so amazing - they all have a mystical quality and such fantastic characters. Tower of Thorns is no different, and I am loving the Blackthorn and Grim series so far. 

[I am in love with these covers, by the way.]

The new story was something of a fairytale, something of the fae, and also something of a mystery. It was a really interesting combination and I found myself really being drawn in and wondering what was being hidden, what was not being said. I worried about our main characters and I got irritated at times with new characters like Lady Geleis, who definitely seemed to be more than what she said. It was mysterious and at times a little spooky, but always engrossing.

I also loved that the stories of Blackthorn and Grim's pasts were also part of the story, and we could continue getting to know these characters. Reading newer characters' opinions on Blackthorn or Grim made me want to defend them, so they have already earned a place in my heart, even after just two books. I find the relationship between the two really interesting, and I find Blackthorn, in particular, to be a complex and interesting character. She is grumpy and irritated at the best of times, but she is also extremely intelligent, wonderfully talented as a wise woman, and even occasionally a little sly. Grim, on the other hand, is quiet, but comes across as extremely kind to those he cares for or feels are good people, and he is a character that has easily made a place in my heart as a favourite.

I don't want to give away any spoilers here, but I will say that the ending has left me wanting the next book ASAP, and has been the catalyst for me deciding that this is going to be the year that I read everything of Marillier's that I haven't read already (there isn't a lot, but I desperately want to be up to date, and I adore being lost in the worlds she has created). I cannot recommend Marillier enough, and I think the Blackthorn & Grim series would be a great place for people to start if they haven't read her before - though I think the Sevenwaters series is a great place to start, too!


I received an uncorrected proof copy of this book from Pan Macmillan - thank you so much!


You would like this book if: you enjoy mystical fantasy worlds; you like fae stories that have been retold.

Tea to drink while reading this book: I would recommend a herbal brew to go with the brews that Blackthorn and Grim make - specifically something with Chamomile and Mint if you can! I almost exclusively drank T2's Gone Surfing while reading this book.

Rating:  10/10

If you'd like to keep up to date with what I'm reading, follow me on Goodreads here!

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Musings: Poetry and Postings, Movings and Musts.

I just wanted to sit down and write a quick post about things that have happened and are about to happen.

So, many poetry postings, along with one short story! I am really loving putting my work out there. I don't know if people are enjoying things, and I am desperately trying not to ask for permission to do these things (I have it already, I just get confused sometimes) or say anything silly and back-tracky like 'they're silly' or 'they're just works in progress!'. Not doing that has been really really difficult, but I am proud of myself for the not-doing.

What does this mean for my postings? Well, I want to keep going. But they may stop. More likely they will become less frequent - maybe once or twice a week. Maybe I will have a designated day of postings! This is all stuff to be thought of.

Other things I have been thinking about are my current studies - I have almost finished my writing degree, and have one more unit to go. Unfortunately it is a unit I am not much enjoying - one that I had to drop out of last year because of expectations that felt not-so-good to me. But it is a core unit, so here I am again. My tutor is so far quite understanding and helpful, so I am grateful for that, but I still found myself getting stressed out about this unit and its workload. And then my partner, Xin, asked me what level I aim my writing at, or what level I thought I was writing at, and I said I was always aiming for an 80+ out of 100. He made me realise that I was kind of operating on almost full capacity for this unit, even when I didn't like it and I actually just have to focus on passing. My grade is quite good at the moment, so I don't really need to always be trying so hard.

Guys, I hope it doesn't paint me as a complete goodie-two-shoes if I say that this doesn't really occur to me very often. Not try hard? Wut? I am still doing the coursework, but I am thinking I won't throw everything I have at every assignment. I'm going to work on the surge of guilt that I feel upon writing that O____O


Finally, in other news, I just wanted to mention that I will be moving out of home over this weekend - I am finally moving in with my dear love, Xin. It is our first place together, and we have found a little rental place that is very cute. So, just a forewarning, there may not be very many posts for a little while until I get the internet up and running at the new place (hoping that is relatively painless...) and also to let you know that I might be a bit emotional in some upcoming posts. This is a huge change for me, and I am worried about how well I will adapt. Some parts of me think it will be totally fine, and other parts are kind of unsure and a teensy bit panicky. I am creating space for them all.

Sending much love to all who read.

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little pieces of poetry #7

I change my shape

And form my mind

I am the chameleon

Of all that you know

If I need to find anger

I change to become sharp

Edges aplenty

Straight lines to chart

If you try to blunt my edges

I blunt them for you

I regain my curves

And let words slip away

***

Now I see

My ever-changing ways

I am returning to my former shape.

Edges and curves

Both in place.

I am humbled

By the beauty

Of being in my own shape…

And that feels so much better

Than my former transformations

Ever could.

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Book Review: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

I love reading. Books are amazing. They are a form of escapism, yes, but they are also inspiration, joy, and... well. Goodness. I think in some ways I have used my appetite for reading to define parts of my personality, so it made sense for me to review some of what I read! Here we go...

goodreads

Title: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Author: Elizabeth Gilbert
Publication Date: September 22nd 2015

Synopsis: "Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration from Elizabeth Gilbert's books for years. Now, this beloved author shares her wisdom and unique understanding of creativity, shattering the perceptions of mystery and suffering that surround the process - and reminding us all just how easy it can be.

By sharing stories from her own life, as well as those from her friends and the people who have inspired her, Elizabeth Gilbert challenges us to embrace our curiosity, tackle what we most love and face down what we most fear."

My thoughts: I was a little apprehensive upon picking this book up - I am a huge fan of some of Gilbert's other work - Eat, Pray, Love, of course, and Signature of All Things in particular - but my experience with her nonfiction (basic at best - I have only read Committed of her nonfiction works) was a little lackluster. Interesting and relatively engrossing, but not something I connected to very much.

However, Big Magic was such a wonderful read that it became one of those experiences where you just want to send everyone away to do their own thing for a little while so you can enjoy some genuine connection time with your book. I kept trying to read this in snatches of time between other things, and eventually discovered that that wasn't working, because it was making me want more and more, and I was beginning to get a little snappish with my loved ones if they interrupted my reading time (something that is wont to happen at any time, but I usually keep it under control...).

I adore Gilbert's tone in this book. Having heard her speak (on audiobooks, in speeches, on podcasts) I felt like I could hear her reading her book to me in my mind as I read each sentence. You find yourself feeling like you actually know her and she is just explaining her book to you, using research she has done and stories she has collected. It feels extremely intimate and so touching.

The topic itself is fascinating, and I will admit to having many different realisations during the course of reading this book. For those who follow this blog regularly, you may notice that I have starting posting my own writing and poetry once more, and that is because of this book and the way Gilbert addresses the need for things like Courage, Permission, and Trust in a life of creative drive. Reading about her story and also her thoughts on the topic of fear, in particular, made me question why I was holding back so much of myself when all I've ever really wanted to do was share my work, and improve upon it.

So, yes, this book review is rather more personally engaged than usual, but my own context has provided me with a very deep connection to what Gilbert says here. And I love that. I think this is a book that anyone, particularly people living a creative life and producing creative work, could read and get something from. I may go read it again soon. Maybe now.


I received a review copy of this book from Bloomsbury in exchange for an honest review. (thank you!)

You would like this book if: you like Elizabeth Gilbert's writing; you feel you need a deeper connection with your creativity, or want to understand it a little better.

Tea to drink while reading this book: something creative and colourful, like cranberry and elderflower, or something similar!

Rating:  10/10

If you'd like to keep up to date with what I'm reading, follow me on Goodreads here!

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little pieces of poetry #6

Everything I do

and everything I am

are collections of words

words surround me

appear within my mind when I look

slide out of my mouth, dancing along my tongue

I used to want to cut

myself open

just to see the letters fall to the ground

I don’t write as much anymore

because each time I do

the letters that keep my heart pumping

my brain working

my eyes looking

are lost to those

who would not use them properly.

***

And because that piece was a little deep and intense (to me, at least) have a piece I wrote about my dog chasing her tail... :D

***

Fur and fuzz and flying fluff

never ever have enough

Tight and textured, tying tangle

cannot see from another angle.

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mini stories #1

since the poetry has been going relatively well (nobody is trying to throw things at me yet!), I decided to post a very short story that I wrote about six months ago. It is rough, but I enjoyed writing it and wanted to share it. I hope you enjoy!

***

‘There are many things that don’t need to be said in this world, but I’d wager you don’t say any of the things that need to be said either!’ Tomoyo grabbed her sake cup and downed the contents in one quick wrist movement. Slamming the cup back down on the table, she leaned in on her elbow and stared at her companion. ‘What is wrong with you, niisan, really? Why don’t you ever say anything?’

The man across the table maintained his cross-legged posture as he sipped from his cup. He watched his sister from underneath lowered eyelids and took a deep breath, knowing what was coming.

‘You know what, Shin? I’m going to get drunk tonight. I’ve had enough of this place. It’s so dull. The only way to get some excitement around here is to do things while intoxicated!’

Although that’s what it was probably supposed to be, but it was rather slurred and Shin just had to guess what she meant. Plus, she’d said it every other time they’d gotten together, so he figured he could decode it this time.

Tomoyo was well on her way to doing just what she declared when they sliding door to their booth was opened and a large man in a red uniform appeared. He looked over both of them – Shin sitting perfectly still, cup in hand, Tomoyo lying on one side propped up by her elbow looking at him through sleepy, lidded eyes.

The man returned his gaze to Shin after a long, lingering look down Tomoyo’s entire body, and his eyes narrowed as they took in the dual swords resting nearby. ‘I believe you are in my booth.’ Neither questioning nor emotional inflected, his statement rested gently in the air while Shin continued to gaze at him.

Tomoyo rolled lazily onto her front and put her face in her hands, feet kicked up in the air behind her. ‘Oh, reallyyy? Mmm well I think it’s our booth right now.’ Tomoyo roared with laughter, despite her statement being neither funny, nor interesting. Shin raised an eyebrow at his sister, but she just winked at him and chuckled under her breath. He shook his hand and then returned his gaze to their new guest, whose hand was now resting gently on the hilt of his katana, lowering it gently in what could be misconstrued as resting, but to Shin represented an aggressive way of announcing that he could easily draw his blade at any time.

Shin narrowed his eyes at the movement, and then, downing the last of his sake, he lowered the cup gently to the table between himself and the intruder, and then rested his hands on his knees.

‘I don’t think you heard me, my friends. You are in my booth. Since I now need my booth, you must get out of it. It is unfortunate for you, I understand, but unavoidable.’ As he spoke, he moved his left hand behind the hilt of his sword, and gently let each of the fingers of his right hand come to rest on the tsuka. He did not draw, but the intent was abundantly clear.

Shin gently rose to one knee, and glanced to the side to see that his sister had rolled herself into a crouched position. The intruder seemed surprised by their fast movement, but stood his ground. Shin allowed himself a small smile of elation at his opponent’s bravado, and his sister’s ability to seemingly rid herself of drunkenness within a few nanoseconds – and with the right motivation.

Tomoyo was holding her dual wakizashi now, and with their silver gleam glinting next to the pale skin of her forearms, she looked deadly – and excited. Shin took advantage of the man’s incredulous observation of Tomoyo and returned his swords to their rightful place at his hip. Moving quickly, he flicked his sword slightly out of its sheath with his left thumb, ready to move at a moment’s notice.

The man’s dangerous edge had all but evaporated as his eyes nearly crossed trying to keep them both in view. He looked unsure as to whether keeping with his current line of ‘persuasion’ would lead to the best outcome for him or not. He looked at Shin, his eyes almost desperate now.

Tomoyo spoke her brother’s thoughts: ‘We’re going to make this easy for you. Take your hands away from that poor excuse of a sword and go find yourself another booth – one that is actually empty, like your threats. Do that, and you won’t have to deal with my brother’s or my own version of ‘persuasion’.’

The man looked stunned for a second, before quickly removing his hands and leaving the room – giving a quick bow as he slid the door closed. Shin removed his sword once more and lay it on the ground beside him as he resumed his sitting position. Tomoyo sheathed both of her wakizashi and placed them under the low table before slumping on the ground, appearing for all intents and purposes like she had just downed a dozen bottles of sake.

‘Thank Kami-sama he chose the easy option – I was so close to just falling down, bare blades or not.’ She chuckled to herself and reached for the bottle, pouring another generous portion into her cup. She lifted the bottle in Shin’s general direction, ‘more, brother?’

Shin smiled and raised his cup so she could fill it. ‘Of course.’

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little pieces of poetry #5

photo taken by me in Kyoto in 2014.

morning light

sleepy smiles

expand

unravel yourself

from your drowsy den

first deep breath

in hours

awaken

and greet this new day

for he is here

he is here

he is here.

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little pieces of poetry #4

photo taken by me in Singapore in 2013.

I see you

I see you watching

I see you waiting

I see you scared to place your bet

Envying the other before you

That seem to leap

even before they try

but do you know

that you are not alone?

for all these others stand nearby you

watching those who leap

hoping that they crash and burn

because then

there is proof

that staying

in the fear cage

is the safest option.

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little pieces of poetry #3

i will drip you a sunset

feed you a miracle

unhand a leaf

and let it flutter to your brow

but do not ask me

to make sense of this world.

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Book Review: The Peony Lantern by Frances Watts

I love reading. Books are amazing. They are a form of escapism, yes, but they are also inspiration, joy, and... well. Goodness. I think in some ways I have used my appetite for reading to define parts of my personality, so it made sense for me to review some of what I read! Here we go...

goodreads

Title: The Peony Lantern
Author: Frances Watts
Publication Date: August 1st 2015

Synopsis: "When Kasumi leaves her remote village for the teeming city of Edo, her life is transformed. As a lady-in-waiting in a samurai mansion, she discovers a rare talent for art and falls in love with a young samurai. How could she ever return to the life of a simple mountain girl?

But Kasumi must set aside her own concerns. Her country is on the brink of change and Edo is simmering with tension. And her mistress has a dangerous secret - a secret that Kasumi is gradually drawn into..."

My thoughts: The Peony Lantern shows a very interesting view of nineteenth-century Japan, a world that I was happy to lose myself within. There was so much that I loved about this book. I loved that each chapter started with a small haiku - which now makes me want to go back through and read them all separately to see whether they are linked to the story itself (I may do that straight after writing this review). I loved the small snapshots into the life of a samurai's wife - the ikebana, the painting, the kimonos and hair-pieces. I even loved the tiny snapshots of the possible invasion of Japan of foreigners, and the fear of the ronin who so opposed this.

Having said all that, I did find at times that the characters kind of fell flat for me - Kasumi in particular. I just found that she repeated things to herself a little too often for comfort, and that I was a bit irritated with how often she told the readers things instead of just showing them with her actions or observations. At the times when she did do these things, I found myself really enjoying the story even more.

Romance was definitely introduced during the course of the story, and that was a little bit frustrating at times, but overall I really enjoyed the way it was written and the ending that was chosen in terms of that. It was lovely and written so beautifully in the end that it actually had me in tears a little bit. O_O So all the frustrations of earlier are forgiven.

Overall, I found Watts' writing style to be quite interesting, and I wouldn't mind exploring some of her other books. While this was quite a slim snapshot of Japanese life, it seemed to be quite well-researched and I enjoyed it a lot.


I received a review copy of this book from Harper Collins (thank you!).

You would like this book if: you are interested in Japanese life in the nineteenth century; you want to read about samurai.

Tea to drink while reading this book: green tea with jasmine would be perfect, I think. or matcha!

Rating:  8/10

If you'd like to keep up to date with what I'm reading, follow me on Goodreads here!

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Retail Therapy, and Attempting to Avoid it.

Hello lovely people,

First of all, let me apologise for the tumbleweeds and crickets around this place. I have been going through one of those classic blogger things when I have many things I want to write about, but somehow can't bring myself to write about any of them. Aside from my August Reading post, things have been rather quiet around here.

I can't absolutely guarantee that that will change, but I'm going to do my best to get over my somewhat perfectionist ways (who knew that I was blocking myself? I have never thought of myself as a perfectionist, but it seems it is blocking me in more ways than one...) and just keep posting things on here. Because I like posting things, and I like writing things out, and I adore seeing that people are connecting with something I wrote, even a little bit.

So, today's topic... retail therapy.

I have known for a few years, after looking at myself particularly closely, that I engage in a few behaviours that are somewhat questionable. I'm a bit of an emotional eater, and I am somewhat addicted to sugar (trying to quit sugar - and I am just talking about artificial sugar here, not the stuff in fruit and veggies - has led to some particularly grumpy Bethwyn days, and not much success). And the other thing is, I try to comfort myself when I am feeling intense things by buying myself stuff.

The stuff is usually books, but in the past it has taken the form of: food (just to keep with the emotional eating theme), tea, candles, plushies, anime, tv series, magazines (that's a big one because it's almost a book but not), and any number of other things when I decide I want them. Clothes even jump in there sometimes, and bags. 

But the fact is, it's fairly unsustainable for me, living on such a low income and not working at the moment. I am lucky enough to be financially covered for certain things, but this knee-jerk reaction of buying myself things whenever I feel complex emotions just doesn't make sense for me.

I have been working on this for a while, of course, but this is the first year where I have really actively looked at all the stuff I have, and asked whether I actually 'need' or even still want all of it.  I spent a few weeks going through all of my stuff (and I actually do mean all of it) and getting rid of anything that didn't feel right or wasn't needed anymore - and so far, I have only had one regret [a single doona from my childhood with a beautiful blue cover that had yellow flowers on it], all of the other stuff I barely think about anymore, if I even remembering having it at all. This has been quite invigorating for me, as someone who used to identify as a little bit of a hoarder.

Now, I understand that some people may take objection to this - I really do think that there is room for 'stuff', and it's not that I am preaching to others to get rid of their things. Heck, I got rid of lots and lots of things, but I still kept quite a lot, too. I may have to downsize again when I move out, I may not. I have things in my 'collection' that would make no sense to others, but they make sense to me. Humans, in my experience, like to witness beauty, but they also like to own it. They like to show their appreciation for beauty by having it around them whenever they want.

And that is part of the reason why restricting my spending habits is still so hard for me. I get the urge to place big orders for books, or just order a big batch of my favourite chocolate off of the internet. Things that have become relatively normal to me, like buying a teacup from T2 when it's on sale, have become things that I need to stop doing (in the case of tea stuff, not just because of the financial factor but because I have no more room for more tea stuff at the moment O_O). This change in my spending habits, and in the way I comfort myself, represents a huge relearning on my part of everything that felt normal to me.

I am trying, at this point, not to replace my spending habits with some other damaging behaviour, and I am even trying to tone down my emotional eating, too (something else I have been doing for a long time). The fact is, I always want to learn to cope with my emotions in a better way, in a healthier way, and for me, this means a big change. I'm trying to acknowledge my complex emotions instead of distracting myself with something new and shiny, and that is really, really hard.

At this point, the only concrete things I have worked out is that I need to start saving up for things instead of buying something for myself with every pay I get, and that I am only allowed to buy myself two new books a month (this includes ebooks - yes, I am being strict, I mean business here). So far this means I am putting about $20 aside each fortnight to save up for things, and it's slow-going as you might imagine. But I am trying. I may screw up at some point, but I will try to get back onto it as soon as I can, and not get angry at myself. Relearning how to cope with things is tough business, and I am determined to show myself compassion while I try.

Comments are welcome - you don't need to share stories of your own if you don't feel comfortable or called to. I am not asking for critique of my approach to things here, but I will accept gentle encouragement and sparkle points. Love to all who read.

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{2015} August Reading

Books bought/received:
~ My Year of Meats by Ruth Ozeki
~ Lips too chilled by Matsuo Basho
~ Hear the Wind Sing/Pinball, 1973 by Haruki Murakami
~ Better than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin
~ Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, illustrated by Tove Jansson
~ Persuasion by Jane Austen
~ Tower of Thorns by Juliet Marillier (review)
~ A Portable Shelter by Kirsty Logan
~ Rush Oh! by Shirley Barrett (review)

Books read:
~ Yoko's Diary by Yoko Moriwaki, edited by Paul Ham
~ Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty
~ The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce
~ The Night Bookmobile by Audrey Niffenegger
~ The Adventuress by Audrey Niffenegger
~ The Moomins and the Great Flood (The Moomins #1) by Tove Jansson
~ Better than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin
~ Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops by Jen Campbell
~ Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives by David Eagleman
~ Persuasion by Jane Austen
~ White Hot Kiss (The Dark Elements #1) by Jennifer L. Armentrout
~ Emma by Jane Austen
~ Instant Attraction (Wilder #1) by Jill Shalvis

So! Absolutely no review books this month whatsoever! That feels weird to say. I do have some on the go, but I just couldn't finish them. August was a huge 'finish-all-the-study-things' month for me, plus a few different health things going on, as well as having to apply for jobs and euch. Let's just leave real life behind, shall we? Yes please.

I seem to have had a bit of a preoccupation with death this month, as you can see from 'Smoke Gets in Your Eyes', 'Sum', and 'Yoko's Diary', which is the diary of a young girl who died shortly after the bombing of Hiroshima. The latter book I read for research as well as curiosity, but the other two were completely just for curiosity's sake, and I actually loved both of them. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes is such an interesting (also horrifying) book, and I found myself really connecting with Caitlin Doughty, who wrote (and experienced) all of it.

A few picture books this month, because I wanted to (there literally is no other reason), and then a couple of nonfiction. Better than Before in particular just dragged me in and fascinated me. I have already implemented a few changes and I think looking at my habits is helping me to get things done!

Ah yes, and then all we have to discuss is the Jane Austen books, and the romances. Let's start with Jane Austen. I decided after much deliberation to finally order a beautiful copy of Persuasion, and then immediately read it when it arrived. I have only ever finished Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility before, but always wanted to finish all the Jane Austens, and I found myself really enjoying Persuasion. Then I picked up Emma (simply because it was the one that was available at the library at the time) and, despite having issues with Emma before, I found I absolutely ADORED it this time round. After finishing it, it went almost to the top of my favourite Austen list. (Not quite, though.) Now I am reading Northanger Abbey :)

And now, the romances. White Hot Kiss had definite potential, but in the end I found it a bit frustrating and odd, so it didn't rate very highly for me. The Jill Shalvis however sucked me in and gave me exactly what I needed - time away from all the study to just read something fun. Heading back into the Shalvis territory very soon.

I have about a bajillion books on the go right now, but study has kind of stopped me from reading as much as I'd like. Thankfully, soon that shall ease and I will be returning to reading as much as possible! What are you reading at the moment?

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