Notes from Japan

Being in Japan has allowed me time (in between adventuring) to think about my life and my part in it. Not often, you understand, but I have thought about it a bit.
My relationship with health is often tenuous at best, and I have realised from being on holiday that I am actually capable of going out much more than I generally do when at home. Of course, this may just be psychosomatic and my body is giving me a bit of a break while I'm away on holiday, but I have realised (more than before) that attitude is often everything.
I have still been getting regular stomach pain, and occasional bouts of dizziness and the odd migraine symptom, but I feel so much more capable of just dealing with them. And I don't even have that many support tools here as I do back home. For example, I have been missing my heatpack like crazy while I've been here. The comfort of heat is something that I can't even begin to relate if you don't know what I'm talking about.

I also realised while being here that I MISS my eating habits from home. As much as it has been awesome eating many different and often wonderful foods here, I miss things like raw chocolate, green juices (although I've managed to find a couple of juices here) and gf df food. We go to the odd vegan place while here, but they're often super far away or a bit hidden (or expensive). Being here has renewed my drive for places like Byron Bay, where I could probably eat raw and healthy for every single meal.

I have also had time to observe how I react to certain situations. It can sometimes be really hard to take a step back and ask why you're reacting to something in a certain way, and I find that often when I question my reaction, it's not because I have some innate and deep-seated moral difference to the situation, but because of something much more basic, like the fact that I'm quite hungry and cold and would dearly like to sit down and eat something. 

That's about all I wanted to say at this point. Have a couple of photos from our visit to Iga yesterday :)

2 comments health, thoughts

When one idle comment ruins your day.

even the hanging baskets in Disneyland are Micky-shaped...

You know the feeling.

You have been set on something. Or you have had to make a tough decision, but you feel comfortable with the outcome.

And then someone - usually someone you love and who loves you - says something so idle that it's almost like they haven't said anything at all, but it completely shakes you. Makes you reconsider things. Makes you wonder if you're actually that good at making decisions at all.

You feel hurt, lost, and sometimes even angry or upset with your loved one (or not-so-loved one). Emotions inside you have become turbulent.

You start thinking 'maybe I should change something? maybe I should go the other way?', at the same time as feeling misunderstood and frustrated.

Here are two simple things to keep in mind when this happens:

1. try to see the motivation behind the idle comment from your loved one. perhaps they just don't want you to get hurt, or they want you to have more fun. they probably don't know that their comment has caused you to feel such intense emotions or such pain. if the person isn't a loved one, I suggest remembering point 2 more readily...

2. this is YOUR journey. it isn't your parent's journey, your partner's, or your best friend's. It's YOURS. that means YOU get to make the choices. YOU are the one who will make the mistakes and learn from them. And no amount of idle comments from people is going to prevent you from making mistakes or moving forward or learning. you are the person calling the shots here, so see that idle comment like a paper plane, whooshing by. it's someone else's ideas (misguided or not) about how you should live your life - and they are NOT YOU.

All is well.

Lots of love to those who read.

2 comments thoughts

UPDATE #1: 101 in 2014

Helloooo again from Japan! I thought I would give a little update on how my 101 is going, as I haven't really posted about it since I announced what I was up to! So I will just post the numbers I have made progress on, and let you know what I've done so far!

Onwards!

45. GO TO JAPAN! ~ this one obviously has been done! I am in Japan right now! :D

76. obtain two more KPop/JPop CDs/albums. ~ Done and done!! In fact, we went to Tower Records in Shibuya, and I got about >cough< five >cough< new KPop albums I've been wanting! (four were SHINee, one was G-Dragon :D)

79. read three graphic novels that aren't manga or Marvel/DC comics. ~ you will have seen from a recent book review (and also on goodreads if you follow me there) that I am making lots of progress here! I have read The Undertaking of Lily Chen by Danica Novgorodoff, and am currently reading This One Summer by Jillian Tamaki. I actually also read an Avatar graphic novel, but I'm counting that as manga for now ^_~

84. read The Velveteen Rabbit. ~ Done! Oh my goodness this was so gorgeous. I understand now why it's a favourite book for a lot of people :) I read this on my Kindle :3

92. write four releasing letters. ~ I have finished one of these. What I mean by a 'releasing letter' is a letter that I write to a person (or a feeling, etc) talking about past pain and anger caused by them. I realised I had still been holding on to a few things that happened to me in High School, and I wanted to move on in life, so this is my way of doing so. I have previously written one of these to a past friend, and I find it helps. So, one down, three to go!

98. watch as many Studio Ghibli films as I can. ~ I HAD to update this one because I went to the Ghibli Museum on Friday (14/02)! And while I didn't watch a full film, I got to see one of the amazing short films that they show there. Craig, Xin and I also rewatched Grave of the Fireflies before leaving Perth, and it helped us to understand our visit to Hiroshima even more. Ghibli, you be amazing.

And that's it for now! I'm pretty happy with the progress I'm making so far, but a lot of the items have had to be put on hold until I get back to Perth. :) I kind of semi-added 'sit under a kotatsu' to this list in my mind, so count that as done, too ^_~

Love to all who read!

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Book Review: The Undertaking of Lily Chen by Danica Novgorodoff

I love reading. Books are amazing. They are a form of escapism, yes, but they are also inspiration, joy, and... well. Goodness. I think in some ways I have used my appetite for reading to define parts of my personality, so it made sense for me to review some of what I read! Here we go...

goodreads

Title: The Undertaking of Lily Chen
Author: Danica Novgorodoff
Publication Date: 25 March 2014

Synopsis: "In The Undertaking of Lily Chen, Deshi, a young man struggling to make a life for himself in rural China, watches his life come unhinged when he accidentally kills his older brother in a fight. His distraught parents send him on a hopeless journey to acquire a bride for his brother to marry posthumously so he doesn't enter the next world alone - an ancient Chinese tradition with many modern adherents. Eligible female corpses are in short supply, however. When Deshi falls into company with a beautiful, angry, and single young woman named Lily, he sees a solution to his problems. The only hitch is Lily is still very much alive. Danica Novgorodoff, author of Slow Storm and Refresh, Refresh, brings her distinctive voice and gorgeous, moody watercolours to this wry, beautiful, and surprising literary graphic novel."

My thoughts: What a gruesome yet fascinating background this story has! The tradition of 'ghost brides' is something I only found out about shortly before reading this book, and I have to say I understand the motivations, but it still seems completely bizarre to me. Any book that deals with subject matter like this is going to walk the line between repulsion and intrigue, and Lily Chen does this so very well.
At first I didn't care for the character design, but as I read the story I warmed significantly to the art style. You only need to look at the cover of the book to see the beautiful, haunting artwork of Novgorodoff. There were times while reading this book that I would just stop and try to absorb as much of a page as I could before moving on - I would happily have one or two of these pages framed on my wall.
In terms of the character development, I often experienced a sense of alienation from the characters, but I think this was more to do with my own method of dealing with such dark tones. You can tell from the blurb what Deshi plans, and you watch in horror and fascination as he wrestles with his own personal demons and desires. I didn't always understand why certain characters did certain things, but that didn't detract from my overall enjoyment of the story and the ultimate resolution. Lily's dad in particular had a very awesome storyline that had me alternating between laughter and gentle consideration.
Overall, I think this is an excellent graphic novel, and I would gladly put it on my shelf (if I could. The copy I read was digital :P).

I read an advanced copy of this book.

You would like this book if: You like graphic novels that deal with dark subject matter; you love beautiful artwork; you can appreciate the skill that goes into showing certain facial expressions perfectly.

Rating:  9/10

If you'd like to keep up to date with what I'm reading, follow me on Goodreads here!

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Book Review: Stolen Songbird by Danielle L. Jensen

I love reading. Books are amazing. They are a form of escapism, yes, but they are also inspiration, joy, and... well. Goodness. I think in some ways I have used my appetite for reading to define parts of my personality, so it made sense for me to review some of what I read! Here we go...

this is not my photo, it is from the author's blog here

Title: Stolen Songbird
Author: Danielle L. Jensen
Series: Malediction Trilogy Book One
Publication Date: April 1st

Synopsis: "For five centuries, a witch's curse has bound the troll to their city beneath the ruins of Forsaken Mountain. Time enough for their dark and nefarious magic to fade from human memory and into myth. But a prophesy has been spoken of a union with the power to set the trolls free, and when Cecile de Troyes is kidnapped and taken beneath the mountain, she learns there is far more to the myth of the trolls than she could have imagined.
Cecile has only one thing on her mind after she is brought to Trollus: escape. Only the trolls are clever, fast, and inhumanly strong. She will have to bide her time, wait for the perfect opportunity.
But something unexpected happens while she's waiting - she begins to fall for the enigmatic troll prince to whom she has been bonded and married. She begins to make friends. And she begins to see that she may be the only hope for the half-bloods - part troll, part-human creatures who are slaves to the full-blooded trolls. There is a rebellion brewing. And her prince, Tristan, the future king, is its secret leader.
As Cecile becomes involved in the intricate political games of Trollus, she becomes more than a farmer's daughter. She becomes a princess, the hope of a people, and a witch with magic powerful enough to change Trollus forever."

My thoughts: I found the beginning of this book a little dull, so I will admit that I was initially settling on to just power through the book so I could move on to other things. But then it got really interesting.
The trolls in this book originally seemed to rely heavily on more elvish ideas from other books (ie. those of Tolkien and Paolini), but they had more elements added to them that made them seem unique and fascinating. I liked how the author used the myths from the human world in her story to give elements of what was false and what was true in this world - an excellent way to draw you further into the story.
Cecile and Tristan were excellent. I enjoyed the exchanges between them and not once did I find myself yelling at Cecile to stop being stupid (something I am wont to do when it comes to other female characters of books where romance is a factor). The emotions they experienced seemed real and as complex as they can seem in real life.
The magic in the book added an extra element of intrigue and emotion - I can't say much more than that without giving things away, but suffice to say that while it did initially feel like Jensen was throwing too many elements into the pot, it all wove together really well from about the 40% mark (yes, I read this on my Kindle).
Occasionally it felt like Jensen was adding in extra action and such just to flesh out the storyline, but this happened rarely, and often added greater meaning further down the track. My other little nitpick is that the ending left me feeling really dissatisfied, but I think that was kind of the point...
The most remarkable thing about this book was that I finished it and felt like I'd be interested in reading the next book, but wouldn't wait with bated breath for it. But ever since then I have been wanting to be back in that world, and find out what is happening with Cecile and Tristan. Apparently absence does make the heart grow fonder when it comes to fantasy novels.

I read an advance copy of this book.

You would like this book if: you like romance with fantasy baked right in; you enjoy reading about fantasy races and aspects of their politics and magicks.

Rating: 8 /10

If you'd like to keep up to date with what I'm reading, follow me on Goodreads here!

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Valentine's Day 2014

I haven't written in some time because Japan has been taking up all of my energy - I've barely been in our accommodation except to sleep and bathe, and today is my first full day alone in the apartment in Tokyo. 
I'm not really sure how to continue, but I will do my best.
Japan is wonderful, but also challenging. My diet has basically been put on the shelf for now, as virtually everything has gluten and sugar in it, and many things have dairy. I've been coping so far, but my stomach and my skin are suffering somewhat. It's super cold here (it snowed a LOT yesterday) and you have to get used to the rapid temperature changes between the outside and inside, and to shivering a lot otherwise.

Now on to the main part of my blog.

Yesterday was Valentine's day, and I was excited about our plans for the day - the Ghibli Museum. Little did I know it was going to be an even bigger day than I'd thought. You see, it was snowing outside - everything was extremely beautiful. Craig had gone out to do some people-watching, and Xin and I were in the apartment cuddling and watching the snow. And then he surprised me by producing a couple of rings and asking me if I'd marry him.
It still feels a little strange - like it didn't actually happen. But there's the ring on my finger as I type this, and there's the memory in my mind still making me jittery and scatter-brained. And happy.

I think I need some more time to process this, but I am very happy nonetheless. Getting engaged in Japan? That's pretty freaking awesome. And to Xin? Wonderful.

2 comments dreams, emotions, thoughts, valentines

Questionnaire :3

Xin posted a questionnaire over on his blog (psst! here's his post!) that he had created, and I figured that I'm just doing computer stuff this morning before heading off to JAPAN so I may as well give it a go. Knowing Xin, it will be a bit obscure and kind difficult to answer :P Onwards! (P.S. excuse the odd format of the questionnaire. I can't make it go away :D)

1. What is your favourite time of day? Hmmm. I'd probably have to say early morning. Not necessarily sunrise, though that is beautiful, but just early morning where the air is brisk and cold, and the light seems entirely new. I don't see it often, but when I do, I adore it.
2. Who do you think is one of the great men of this age? Ah man, this is already difficult! Okay hmmm... I would have to say the 13th Dalai Lama. I find him very inspiring and the way he thinks is so simple and yet so beautiful.
3. Who do you think is one of the great women of this age? Leonie Dawson. She swears, she posts updates about pregnancy sickness, and she's wonderful. Whenever I read a blog post by her, I become either one of two things: completely calm and zen, OR completely motivated to get myself in gear! An amazing woman.
4. What song/s has/have been stuck in your head for days? Of course Xin would ask this XD Lately I tend to go through a stream of asian pop songs. Right now it's TVXQ's 'Something', but I've also had 'Hush' by Miss A, 'Why So Serious' by SHINee, 'Bad Boy' by BigBang, and many assorted others in my head the last week or so.
5. If you could recast any film, what film and who would you use? Oh man I have no idea.... Can't I just create my own drama starring me and the members of SHINee? Particularly Jjong? No? Oh okay.
6. What sort of person do you want other people to see you as? Someone who is kind and calm, but also follows their dreams. Someone who is strong, but knows when to be weak.
7. What word or phrase secretly bothers you? Oh! When people say 'Vice-a Versa'. It's 'VICE VERSA', my friends. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. :3
8. If you could broadcast a message to every person in the world, what would it be? “Happiness is already within you, you don't need to go searching for it anywhere other than there. It doesn't have to be expressed all the time, as that would eradicate negative emotions - and they have their place, too. Just remember to try and choose happiness.”
9. What do you wish you could spend more time doing? Reading and swimming, but not at the same time!
10. If, like the Dalai Lama, you only had thirteen material possessions, what would they be? I think this question is too hard. :P I guess.... clothes. that would take up about.... five items. then a couple of photos of my loved ones, so another three or so there... a bowl and a spoon (because if it's too hard to cut with a spoon, I don't want to eat it XD)... a blanket, and a notebook and pen. I think that's thirteen.
11. What material possessions do you really love but not necessarily need? I love my books. But I have been looking at them lately and purging them a lot more often than usual. I want to keep many of them, but some are just sitting there, and they need to find new homes where they will be loved more. I think I also don't really NEED candles and incense, but I adore them. There's plenty of stuff I don't NEED... I just want it :P
12. What is your superpower? Super Resting powers. I can set myself up in bed with everything I could need for the day (aside from a bathroom, which I still need to go to) in about five minutes. Tea drinking and book reading are my speciality. Xin has a power in making excellent nests for me :)
13. What was the most amazing meal you ever had? I kind of feel like the best is yet to come, with me heading to Japan today and all... but I am an absolute sucker for Nao's ramen.
14. Who are the top five people you most want to spend a day with? Just going to say that this answer is influenced by my current obsession, but I will go with all five members of SHINee :D

Leave a Comment quizzes, rambling

Maggie Stiefvater on YA Literature

I loved reading this. Perfect.

click!

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weekly glimpse #8

my bag and little fox purse :3

currently reading: The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch, The Undertaking of Lily Chen by Anica Novgorodoff.

listening to: mostly Dream Girl by SHINee and Still You by Donghae and Eunhyuk

watching: My Little Pony season four, and SHINee's One Fine Day (eee!)

food: Korean snack foods... Lunar New Year foods... euch I still feel full XD

drinking: water. lots of it.

writing: been looking back at stories I've started but not finished and thinking about working on a few of them :3 Also, other ideas are popping into my head...

general... (inspired by Havi)

the hard

: migraines. more. ick.

: huge depression and anxiety triggering this week with some work I was doing. needing to back out of said work because I don't want to end up on anti-depressants again. a breath for trying to choose what is right for you, even if it feels difficult.

: a perfect morning was a little ruined by the discovery of an almost-dead rat in the back garden. a breath for the suffering of the small animal, and a breath for the sadness.

: anxiety about travelling and what could go wrong. am not feeling it too acutely, but it's affecting my stomach and I am just trying to breathe through it!

: feeling lonely and slightly ignored around some friends earlier this week. a breath for letting your friends make new friends.

the good

: cleaning! ah the joy of decluttering things :D

: giving myself permission to buy new things for the trip (without going crazy). a breath for feeling more prepared.

: choosing the right thing for me and feeling supported in that choice. joy.

: time, finally, to just sit in bed and read a couple of times this week. a breath for joyous calm and the peace of my beautiful bedroom.

: JAPAN YOU GUYS. I LEAVE FOR JAPAN THIS WEEK.

what i want for next week...

~ JAPAN IS SO AMAZING AND YAY

~ I feel secure and safe.

~ I am supported!

~ It is so wonderful that it turned out like this!

~ Love is everywhere.

~ This is leading me to the exact right thing for me.

mantra? I am safe, secure, and loved. I follow my intuition and feel the flow of the universe all around me and within me. I am content.

p.s. I have not made plans for my blog when I am away. There is nothing scheduled at this point, and I don't know whether I will be writing or posting or what. I hope so, but at the same time I'm okay with taking a break. I feel like I just need to take things as they come :) I will definitely be back in March though! :)

1 comment thoughts, updates, week end week begin

I am crying already.

Leave a Comment i am excite, video