A - Z Bookish Questionnaire

I am feeling out of it and painful today, so I am enjoying my time in bed by doing a survey filled with questions about books! Woo!

I found this over on Speculating on Specfic (here), and I believe it was created by The Perpetual Page-Turner (her original post here)! These bloggers and their awesome blog names :D

AUTHOR YOU'VE READ THE MOST BOOKS FROM:

Hmmm... I'd probably go with Juliet Marillier... or if we go back to my school reading days, I would maybe say Annie Dalton!

BEST SEQUEL EVER:

Ohhhh mannnnn. This is a tough one. >thinks< I'd sayyy The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss.... >thinks for awhile more< I am sure there are others, but that's the one that comes to mind right now.

CURRENTLY READING:

Stuff I've Been Reading by Nick Hornby, Reunion (Rift Runners #3) by Jennifer Fallon, Cloaked in Fur by T. F. Walsh, and How to Wake Up by Toni Bernhard. The last one I'm not really actively reading.... but it's lovely to dip into occasionally. And Reunion and Cloaked are Aurealis Nominations.

Stuff I've Been Reading is just for me, and it's awesome :)

DRINK OF CHOICE WHILE READING:

Tea - lately it's been either Chamomile or White White Cocoa (may review that one soon... oh my goodness it's like a Lamington in tea form!) - or just good old water :)

EREADER OR PHYSICAL BOOK:

I read both, but I still love physical books a bit more. The tactile sensation, the smell, being able to put it up on my shelf and look at it. I love books...

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL:

Hmm... Jem from the Infernal Devices Trilogy by Cassandra Clare... Flynn Rider from Tangled....  Many characters from Juliet Marillier's Sevenwaters series.....

GLAD YOU GAVE THIS BOOK A CHANCE:

So many books! Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn, Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor.

Most recently...Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev. I wasn't blown away, but it was an awesome story idea and I find myself thinking about it from time to time. Maybe time to read the sequel?

HIDDEN GEM BOOK:

A series of manga that I have yet to finish, but is so wonderful anyway: Wandering Son by Shimura Takako. So wonderfully interesting and complex.

IMPORTANT MOMENT IN YOUR READING LIFE:

The others I linked above mentioned starting their blog - also important to me - and discovering Goodreads - man I love Goodreads - so I will mention something different. Deciding to be involved in the Aurealis Awards and sending in an application. It has started to open so many doors for me, and made me so excited about being able to include my love of books in a future career. :)

JUST FINISHED:

In terms of Aurealis Awards stuff... Shadow's Fall (Shadow Series #3) by C. M. Simpson.

Last book for my own pleasure outside of the awards? Rules of Summer by Shaun Tan. I love Shaun Tan's work so much.

KIND OF BOOKS YOU WON'T READ:

Horror. I just don't like to scare myself and sacrifice sleep that much (because that is what will happen if I 'consume' horrific media of any kind (ie. books, movies, tv shows). I will occasionally read some horror or scary fiction, but not often. I do try to read fairly widely outside of that, but I must admit to not reading much Crime fiction.

LONGEST BOOK YOU'VE READ:

The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss. I seem to be mentioning him a lot in this survey...

MAJOR BOOK HANGOVER BECAUSE OF:

Uhh I think about a few Aurealis books from time to time... but I haven't really had a huge hangover since Flame of Sevenwaters by Juliet Marillier... Is she going to write another one? Seriously....does anyone know? D:

NUMBER OF BOOKCASES YOU OWN:

Hahaha this is going to be funny. Eight. I have six fairly large bookcases in my study (not completely filled with books, other stuff on there too) and then two half-sized bookcases in my bedroom (also not entirely filled with books). I also pile books up on the floor, in a bedside table, next to my records... near my games.... Yeh. Books are everywhere.

ONE BOOK YOU HAVE READ MULTIPLE TIMES:

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby. Yes, that's two books, but you know. Deal.

PREFERRED PLACE TO READ:

In my reading chair and in bed. I think those are my two favourite spots. But honestly, anywhere is good. I prefer big squishy chairs, too :)

QUOTE THAT INSPIRES YOU/GIVES YOU ALL THE FEELS FROM A BOOK YOU'VE READ:

"Reading journeys are still the richest, most stimulating and the cheapest journeys of all, and you don't even have to go anywhere apart from the inside of your own head." ~Stuff I've Been Reading by Nick Hornby

There are many quotes that give me the feels and inspire me more than this, but this one is sticking with me lately. I love reading.

READING REGRET:

I don't really stick with books if I'm not enjoying them... I don't really feel the need to push through if it doesn't seem worth it... I am more likely to regret not reading certain books earlier in life, or to feel guilty for not reading some books yet. I guess that means I don't have an answer for this one!

SERIES YOU STARTED AND NEED TO FINISH (ALL BOOKS ARE OUT IN THE SERIES):

Tales of the Otori by Lian Hearn. Oh man do I need to get around to them. The Brideo Chronicles by Juliet Marillier.... the Tir Alainn Trilogy by Anne Bishop... I could go on.

THREE OF YOUR ALL-TIME FAVOURITE BOOKS:

This survey is HARD. Okay... Matilda by Roald Dahl. Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.

But there are so many more...

UNAPOLOGETIC FANGIRL FOR:

Gail Carriger's Parasol Protectorate books. Cheap, smutty paranormal romance! Annie Dalton's books about teenage angels rocking it in all different eras. If it makes me squeal with happy, then it's all good XD

VERY EXCITED FOR THIS RELEASE MORE THAN ALL THE OTHERS:

I haven't had much time to think about what's being released soon, so I will fall back on one I know I'm eagerly awaiting: The Caller by Juliet Marillier. (Man, I do go on about her, don't I?)

WORST BOOKISH HABIT:

I'm not sure! To other people, I guess it would be ignoring the need to be social so I can read.... to me, probably buying more books before I've finished half the ones on my shelves...

X MARKS THE SPOT: START AT THE TOP LEFT OF YOUR BOOKSHELF AND PICK THE 27TH BOOK:

I have eight shelves... I will just go with the small amount of books on my bedroom shelves...

On This Same Star - a collection of tanka poems by Mariko Kitakubo.

YOUR LATEST BOOK PURCHASE:

Night of Cake and Puppets by Laini Taylor. Yet to read, but excited!

ZZZ-SNATCHER BOOK (LAST BOOK THAT KEPT YOU UP WAY LATE):

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black. I lost a fair amount of sleep on that one... XD

And that's it! This may have bored you senseless, but I had fun! If you decide to do this, please let me know so I can come and read your answers! :)

6 comments books, quizzes

On Apologising and Open-Mindedness.

I just watched two very interesting videos on apologising (they popped up in my YouTube feed and were both fascinating and very thought-provoking) and it's gotten me thinking about being open-minded. [Videos are embedded below for those interested :)]

I have recently done a few units that touched on philosophy and the idea of some things being 'sacred' while others are 'fair-game', and that has led to my thought processes being flipped on their head a little bit. If someone were to ask me where to draw the line on what to joke about and what not to, I would find it difficult to answer. Originally, I would probably have said that joking about someone's religion, race, culture, gender, or sexual orientation would be obvious starting points of what NOT to do. But how far do we take that? Many people would find joking about age offensive, some would find jokes about social or financial class to be inappropriate, and what about disabilities?

There are those in the world that would say that we can't joke about anything any more for fear of insulting someone or being deemed 'socially inappropriate'.

I like to think that I am a fairly open-minded person, but I know that I still engage with a lot of very basic (and even upsetting) stereotypical behaviour - that is, I still make snap judgements about people based on really wide generalisations. Much of this is social conditioning mixed with a healthy dose of some sort of mental/thought reflex, but I can't help thinking that I continue to believe in certain stereotypes because they serve me well.

And that's not to say that I, for example, make friends with Asians and force them to do my homework because I presume they're smarter than me. It is more that, without making these vast generalisations, I fear that I would lose my understanding of what my place is in the world, and be unable to function.

Through studying Psychology, I learnt that we tend to 'group' people together so that we can understand how everyone fits into the world around us, and how we fit into that world. I find this easiest to understand by thinking of it like we're in some big high school and we understand that over there are the kids who do drugs and generally don't care about school, over there are the nerds, over there are the musicians, etc., etc. We slowly understand that there are exceptions to these rules and groupings, but it only serves to slightly alter our initial perceptions, unless we get to know everyone intimately.

It is extremely bothersome that we put people into certain boxes so that we can grasp the world's limits a bit better, but it also helps us to move through the world without having to stop and ponder each individual's motivation, beliefs, hobbies, and drives. Because if we did that for everyone, it would mean our brain would be attempting to store too many bits of information inside our heads, and we would eventually be overloaded, right?

The thing is, I'm just not so sure any more.

I might want to consider myself open-minded, and some people who know me might argue for the affirmative, but how can I really know? I have not been confronted by all the different exceptions to the supposed 'rules' that I have set (and been set for me during my growth) in my brain. I know that I still tense up around "youths" of a certain age and volume level because I assume that they mean me harm. Does this reaction help me in 'surviving' what I deem to be a threat, or does it hinder me in making genuine connections with people I don't know? I don't really expect to ever find many answers for questions like these. I guess I just hope that, if I do something wrong, I will have the strength to apologise (and mean it) and continue trying to be as open-minded as possible.

Love to all who read.


Please note: the below videos are not mine. Please visit the respective youtube pages (by clicking on the video itself) to find out more about the people who made them :)

1 comment emotions, rambling, thoughts, video

Thoughts?

I just read this: http://thefeministfangirl.tumblr.com/post/54520561695/reasons-why-im-not-supporting-disneys-frozen

and then I looked at this:

source

and now I am thoughtful. I love the story of The Snow Queen - as mentioned in the above link, it's an amazing story filled with impressive characters - and I am confused as to why Disney felt the need to change the story so much. I have seen film adaptations of The Snow Queen, and it translates really well to the screen, and I think Disney could have done a lot here.

I am not planning to avoid the film at this point, I am just thoughtful as to the reasons behind all the changes. Anyone else want to share how they feel about this?

Love to all who read.

2 comments thoughts

SHINee -- 「3 2 1」Music Video

Eee so happy :D

2 comments

Milestones and Good Causes

You guys, this is my 300th post on this blog! :D And I've now had over 9000 pageviews since I first started this blog! :O

image source

I'm still really loving having a blog and being able to write book reviews and talk things out on here. I am so happy that people are still visiting and reading :) I hope to continue for some time yet!!

In other news, Ashley of HeyThere005 is amazing. And you need to watch this video. Because it is all kinds of amazing and makes me want to cry just a little bit.

Love to all who read.

6 comments gratitude, love, video

Book Review: The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

I love reading. Books are amazing. They are a form of escapism, yes, but they are also inspiration, joy, and... well. Goodness. I think in some ways I have used my appetite for reading to define parts of my personality, so it made sense for me to review some of what I read! Here we go...

goodreads link

Title: The Coldest Girl in Coldtown
Author: Holly Black
Interesting Note: The idea for the novel came from a short story that Holly Black wrote in the collection of short stories The Poison Eaters

Synopsis: "Tana lives in a world where walled cities called Coldtowns exist.
In them, quarantined monsters and humans mingle in a decadently bloody mix of predator and prey. It's an eternal party, shown on TV twenty-four hours a day - gorgeous, glamourous, deadly.

The problem is, once you pass through Coldtown's gates, you can never leave..."

My thoughts: I originally bought this as a treat for myself when I had to go to yet another medical appointment, and I read it really quickly. I had planned to have the review up that weekend but... life kind of got in the way. But here it is anyway! Just a few weeks late...

Coldest Girl is a really interesting book. The vampire character has been done and done and done (someone just has to say 'Twilight' to get things thrown at them, including, occasionally, screaming teenage girls), but I found this take very refreshing. It's similar to the usual premise - if you get bitten, you will turn, but only if you drink human blood within a certain time period. So there's this window of opportunity to avoid becoming 'cold', but it comes with a vicious cleansing that seems akin to that of a very dedicated drug addict trying to go cold turkey on their poison of choice.

Tana is an interesting character, and I enjoyed being privy to her thoughts and feelings on things - even if she couldn't always figure things out. She was insecure and scared, but she fought to keep it together because that's what she needed from herself at the time. Strong female characters are an excellent way to keep me interested - particularly if they don't go completely masculine and are still allowed to have feelings and be interested in romance.

I won't say too much about the actual plot of this book, as I'd rather you just read it for yourself, but it moves along at a decent pace and has moments that made me think about vampires and what they represent to us as humans, which was great to see in a YA paranormal.

Also, props to Holly Black for writing a stand-alone in a sea of series and trilogies. Though I would love to see other books set in this world - perhaps some more insight into Gavriel's past?

You would like this book if: You're looking for a vampire book where the vampires are only shiny if they're covered in glitter (sorry, I do actually like the Twilight books, I just can't help myself today!); you like strong female characters who show emotion.

Rating:  8.5/10

If you'd like to keep up to date with what I'm reading, follow me on Goodreads here!

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Get Supported.

Dinner outside...

This is something that I will probably write about again and again - you can't mistake the beauty and necessity of a good support network. Whether you are sick or healthy, depressed or joyful, having a good support network can mean the difference between coping with what life throws at you and falling to pieces every time something bad happens.

This is just a short post because I have stuff I need to catch up on right now, but the thought popped into my head.

I am lucky enough that although my health is pretty bad right now, I am able to call on others to help me out. I have some very understanding tutors and lecturers this semester at uni, who are giving me so much assistance with getting my assignments done on 'Bethwyn time' (which is crazy varied and can sometimes change at the drop of a hat - or the presence of a pain). I have amazing parents who continue to support me financially and also give me love and support to deal with all the stuff my body throws at me. I have an amazing boyfriend, who supports me so much that I wonder what exactly I have done to deserve him. And I have some great friends, who don't mind talking about how certain parts of my body aren't working properly, who don't mind that I have to cancel on them a lot, and who make allowances for my crazy diet restrictions and rest requirements.

I'm not sure what I'd do without these people.

And I am also glad that I am who I am. Because I think if I hadn't focused on becoming more capable with dealing with random pains and discomforts and sicknesses, I would be falling apart a lot more often.

I must admit, sometimes I still wish that I was able to be in hospital. Because I want to be taken care of all the time - sometimes it IS that hard for me to simply make my own food, or even get out of bed. But I remind myself that I wouldn't be able to be surrounded by my loved ones as often as I'd like, and I would be removed from the comforts of my own home, and that helps me to feel better about everything.

So, if you can, reach out to someone you'd like in your network. Or an old connection that might have fallen into the shadows a bit. Even if it turns out that person isn't the right one for your network, you get one step closer to finding someone who is.

Love to all who read.

Leave a Comment health, musings

Deskchair Musings: Updates and Thoughts

The Jacaranda says 'hey!'

Oh man, I never intended for it to go this long without me updating. But things happen and life gets in the way, sometimes. I even opened up a page on Monday to start writing, but it proved too difficult and so that very short unfinished blog post has been surrendered to draftdom - perhaps to be finished at a later date.

I realised today that I haven't really voiced just how tough things have been for me lately. And as much as I hate coming across as someone who always complains, I know that I am always trying to do something about it which is an important distinction. Because I know people that complain about things going on in their life every time I have contact with them and a) don't return the favour by asking how I am, and b) don't do anything about their frustrations and problems, so it becomes extremely monotonous to talk to them again later. Don't get me wrong, some problems you can't do anything about. For these problems, I just want to say 'I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you want a hug?' and then suggest that maybe the thing you CAN do is soften in the face of the problem - lean into the skid, as it were.

And that's what I'm having to do with a lot of my stuff right now. I will be perfectly honest and say that I have broken down a few times in the face of recent developments - I have cried, gotten extremely angry, and declared it to all be 'unfair' - but once that has passed, I try to soften into it once again. Because ignoring the fact that my stomach pains and discomfort are getting worse with time (what I would call 'hardening' in this case)? Not going to help me. And pretending that I haven't just gotten through over a week of really bad pain, discomfort, fear, and nausea? Makes me feel like I am ignoring part of myself.

And I logically know that there isn't anything my regular doctor can do for me right now. I just have to weather it. I have to deal with the loss of sleep and appetite, and keep trying to be myself. I have to wait another month and a half or so until I can see a specialist and hope that they have some answers for me.

And yes, I have theories about what is happening. I have hopes that I can finally get some treatment for this thing that has once again begun to take over my life.

But it's different now than it was back in 2009 when I finally submitted to being sick. Because I am no longer fighting it every step of the way - I am no longer in denial that something is strange in my body's neighbourhood (sorry). Yes, I am still afraid of what my body can do to me in terms of pain levels and passing out, and yes, I am still terrified that the specialist will find nothing I will have to resume my journey that has so far lasted 12 years. But I am also softening every time the pain arrives. I am being gentle with my body and trying to find food that it won't immediately reject or turn into pain. I am resting as much as I can, whilst still working on my final uni assignments (and being soft about them, too, because anxiety would just make things ten times worse right now). I am giving myself tea, books, soft clothes and calming scented candles. I am breathing deeply and stretching slowly when I can. I am reaching out to people I trust and connecting with them while all of this happens, and, when I can, I am making myself delicious food.

I am leaning in to this experience because fighting it just doesn't work, and I would rather be open and feel what is happening and share about it than be closed and perhaps alienate others going through something similar.

I am dealing with my stuff so that I don't lash out at others for making idle comments or jokes about the way I choose to live and experience the world. I am surrounding myself with things that make me joyful, because that reminds me of all that I am right now - gentle, hopeful, and not just surviving, but being myself.

Love to all who read.

2 comments health, musings, thoughts